My practice focuses on supporting people to live the lives they want to be living, and have the sex they want to be having. In our families, relationships, culture, and society these big deal topics are frequently met with silencing or shame. You’re invited to offer yourself the space and time to explore how desire and connection, grieving and loss, shame and authenticity show up for you, and how you’d like them to be more integrated.
I believe you are your own expert on your experiences, needs and goals. We will work together to discover where that knowing wants to be drawn into your conscious life and how you want to implement it.
I have been working in mental health for 10 years, in community and private spaces. I have a Masters of Social Work from the University of Calgary, with a focus on trauma informed clinical practice. I am a Registered Social Worker with the BC College of Social Workers. Some of my life and work experiences include: hospice work, addiction recovery, writing, trauma work, birthing, parenting, psychedelics, kink, international living, and being a client of counsellors and social workers. I am a cisgender queer white settler descendant living on Tla’amin Nation lands, engaged in relationship with all of these parts of my life.
Sex, pleasure, joy
I believe that pleasure and erotic connection is a birthright and each of us has our own path to what makes us feel alive, at ease, and in joy.
Awakening to a desire for non-mainstream erotic, relational, or sexual practices can be challenging: this space explicitly names these diversities as a part of the human experience and welcomes your questions, dreams, hopes, kinks and curiosities.
Ethical non-monogamous relationships are welcome in my practice, whether you’re at the beginning of this journey and curious, exploring solo or with a partner who is less familiar, or whether you’re well established and looking for support working through dynamic challenges. People who are in more traditional partnerships are also welcome.
If you’re working in the business of pleasure: let’s affirm that sex work is real work, and it comes with its own set of challenges. At the same time, sometimes a job is just a job. I won’t assume that if you’re having a hard time with authentic pleasure and connection in your life it is because you are a sex worker.
Drugs and substance use/misuse
Your lived or living experiences with drugs or processes are welcome here. I do not see using substances as inherently problematic and recognize there is a range of reasons and contexts for substance use. However, if your ability to live your life how you want to is affected by your substance use and you want support changing that, I am committed to supporting your return to your authentic life. I support recovery from a harm reduction perspective but welcome other recovery frameworks. If you are using drugs or processes and you don’t have concerns – then neither do I.
Death, grief, loss
Many people struggle with grieving losses that cannot be grieved due to stigma, shame, or feeling a loss which is invisible to others. This space welcomes your hidden grief. Grief and loss can comprise identities, beliefs, role and relationship changes, pet loss, ecological grief, birthing experiences, illness, or other experiences of profound change. All of these are valid. If you’re looking for support while you support a friend, parent, or partner through their end of life process please know that this is a unique experience, and your needs are not less than theirs.
Queerness, trans and nonbinary life, and relational work
I bring lived and living experience, education, and professional training (Emotions Focused Therapy for 2SLGBTQIA+, ongoing certification process) into my work with queer folks. We often have unique relational experiences that can feel unseen or unmet in more mainstream couples counselling work, I strive to centre and support my clients queer relational lives in ways that meet and match their diverse needs. Unconventional parenting arrangements, D/s and kink dynamics, queer platonic life partners, butch-femme, T4T - however you define your needs and wants; you are welcome. Most importantly - I want to work with you on developing relational ways of being that work for you and the people you love.
How I Work
The primary tool we will use is the counselling relationship. Within our sessions, we will use modalities which invite compassionate and expansive self-awareness. It is my intention that you leave each session with tools, insights, and a plan to apply them. An empathetic, genuine, and responsive relationship can help to re-establish internal states of congruence, self awareness, and attachment. If your early life was marked with inconsistent relationships, trauma, or challenging experiences, this can show up in adulthood, affecting work, sex, physical health, parenting, attachment style, and more. Research shows that counselling outcomes tend to stay similar regardless of the theory or model of practice, and the best outcomes are grounded in a therapeutic relationship which offers an experience of being deeply heard, seen, and accepted in the fullness of your experience and expression.
I practice from a holistic, developmental, relational, trauma-informed and somatic perspective. This means I focus on supporting people to connect with their body, both in the present and in past events. Our bodies carry a great deal of wisdom – present and ancestral – and this wisdom can be accessed to support our healing. We may also use tools such as writing prompts, nature-based ritual and trauma informed mindfulness. I invite your feedback regularly and I value transparency. I look forward to witnessing and honouring you as you walk your own path.